Duvet And Pjs

I sit in my pjs after a shift and contemplate. 
Its getting harder to see the goal, where I’m aiming when theres so much crap that clouds my view. 
In a realistic point of view happiness trumps all right?
hm. 
Its not all black and white though is it. 
What if you had to be really unhappy for a year to be able to try and acheive your goal but then be happy and have an amazing experience. 
Would you suffer for the year?
Or, would you do something to make yourself happy but then ultimatly prolong the thing that could make you reeaalllyyy happy?
Its confusing. Hence my need to write. 
Not to mention that its not just me I have to think about, add in an illness, a sprinkle of surgeries and then bam. That gives you a conundrum! 
After listening to advice from various places I think the easiest thing I can do at this moment is focus on getting better. All this is stress is not helping TinTin in fact the lil fella is very pissed off with my right now and Ive been getting some strange pains that I cant explain.
Putting this all into perspective, I cant do a thing until I am better, so whats the point in stressing about so much now when I just need to focus on myself.
Its hard, especially when my instinct is to worry to the point where I get a lil crease in my forehead from thinking about an outcome and then what that might mean and what that might mean oh but this could mean this so what happens then?? the list continues.
 All I can do is get on with things, and as we all know its what I do best. Im going to plan a few things so that I dont kill people and just to break up the routine. 
I need to focus on little things that will make me happy rather than focusing on a huge picture where I can get lost. 
As the saying goes, the grass isnt always greener on the other side.

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