Epiphanies on the toilet

Yes, you read that correctly.

I spend a lot of time in the toilet and as most of you know, the toilet is where I do the majority of my thinking. However this was a different kind of epiphany.

This time I was cleaning said toilet and I won’t lie, I was not happy.

Sometimes you have to do things that you don’t want to do to get ahead in life. No, I am not talking about anything of a sexual nature, so get that out of your filthy mind ūüėČ

I have spent the last two, nearly three years just putting up with things in the vain hope that things will indeed get better.

“It will be better after my second op, just need to hold out and I’ll be closer to my goal”

“It’s okay to be in a job I hate because soon I’ll be in Australia, I can just put up with it for now to save my money”

“I know its hard right now but things will be better in the future”

I have learnt the hard way, and its taken me a long time to get here, but it is not true.

Sure, you may have to put up with some crap initially, for example, I need to do three months regional work to extend my visa for another year. Three months of poopie work and I get to stay in Australia for longer. That’s fine, but when you’re constantly looking forward and thinking “Its okay I only have to put up with it for x amount of time” that’s when something is wrong.

So here I am in Australia, finally getting to the goal that I have wanted for so long and I thought things would be dandy.

WRONG.

A three year relationship came to a close. I used all the money I had to buy a car and then I crashed the car, had to borrow money for my insurance and had to move out of the place I was living because I couldn’t keep up with the rent.

People, life will unfold however it wants to and sometimes the shit just keeps on coming. You don’t know that things will be easier, or better, or happier in the future. You just have to live in the moment and keep yourself happy for that time.

No, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t save for that rainy day or be conscious of the things that you want in the future but dammit, I was on my hands and knees cleaning toilets and I just thought, this is enough.

My intention was to stay a the backpackers and work for my accommodation until I could get to bamboo land to finish my regional. It would mean that the little money I earned would go towards travels.

But in that toilet, as I scrubbed the bowl where someone had decided to take a poop and not clean up after themselves, I just snapped.

I can’t guarantee happiness in the future, the only way is to make myself happy in the moment, right now.

So I moved out and now I live with a lovely lady for the next month. In a proper bed, where I won’t be scared that someone is going to a) steal my stuff b) appear over me at 4 in the morning breathing heavily c) or clean up after messy, gross backpackers.

Which, whilst I’m on the subject. How is it that you can leave home, book flights,¬†accommodation,¬† travel for months by yourself navigating a city and sometimes a language that you don’t know AND NOT CLEAN UP YOUR DISHES ONCE YOU HAVE USED THEM?

Do I look like your mother? How are you so handicapped that the process of cleaning dishes is foreign to you?

Oh I see, its because this isn’t your home and your mentality is that someone else will do it for you.

Well that someone is not me. Not any more!

So here’s to happiness peeps! May you strive to be the happiest you can be.

Much love

x

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