As I shut down my computer last night from work I thought of the evening that lie ahead. I figured I’d go home, sort out my flat as I hadn’t unpacked all of my things and settle down to a nice, aggressive football match.
I thought then knocked and rudely made a mess of my plans “You haven’t run in a week.”
Oh. Yeah. That.
“This marathon isn’t going to run itself you know”
Yes, I am fully aware of that brain.
Dumping my belongings on my bed when I got home I stared at my trainers. My beautiful Nike trainers. The ones that I could not wait to test out when I had first brought them now lay in the corner of the room.
I sat on my bed and sighed. The trainers, bright orange, were coaxing me to go for a run. “I see; I was just a fad, an infatuation. You don’t really want to be a runner. You just dabble and pretend that you run on a regular basis!”
I gasped! “It’s not true” I said, “I’ve been running three times weekly since February!” Better than my sporadic attempts where I would run twice, finish the week on a long run and end up not running for a week after.
The trainers tried a different tact.
“You were so excited when you first got me, showing me to your friends, excited to be running in your new trainers, what about now?”
Indeed. What about now.
With a deep sigh I hauled myself off the bed and begun to change, promising myself that the sooner I had done my run the sooner I could curl up on the sofa and watch the football.
Off I went running beside the park, a run I had not done for a while because I lived in Stockwell.
Suddenly without warning I realised that I had tears in my eyes.
“Oh God, what’s the matter with her now?” My brain asked, “Body, you okay down there? Are you in any pain?”
“No, everything’s fine here,” Body replied drinking in the crisp night air
“She’s lost it; she’s gone cookoo, why are you crying?”
“Because I’m happy”
“Heart. I should have known it would have been you.”
“But brain just think, this time last year I couldn’t run through the park without stopping, now I’m doing a whole length around it! Don’t you think that’s an achievement?”
“Yes, but there’s no need to cry about it”
And the tears disappeared as quickly as they came.
One thing I have learnt about running is that it is an emotional journey as well as a physical one.
To know that two years ago I could have died, yeah it’s a bit dramatic but if you leave a dodgy colon in place it will eventually burst. I’ve gone from knocking around illness playground to being able to run 4.2 miles without stopping. So yes, occasionally I do get quite emotional on some of my runs when it hits me how unbelievably amazing my body is.
In fact, it’s amazing what all of our bodies can do. They are wondrous and you should never take them for granted. They can be pushed in unimaginable ways and come back even stronger.
I’m done with my “Oh my god” life is wonderful speech. It’s just really nice to be in a position where I can appreciate the amazing things in my life from a doing perspective rather than a wishing one.