Am I fighting a loosing battle?

I will never forget the moment when I decided to travel to Australia.

My house mate and I were sitting outside of her room, on the floor of the landing. As a house hold, we all took to sitting in inappropriate places, the kitchen, the hallway, stairs, we’ve even had conversations whilst we were washing our feet in the bathtub, but that’s a story for another time.

I remember my friend saying how much she wanted to travel to Australia and I off handedly said that I would visit as I wanted to do a bit of travelling myself.

A light bulb moment was born and we decided that together we would travel Australia.

I had gone from wanting to travel for a few months to deciding to come out for a year, and all my energies went into making this happen.

Then I became sick and my travels were put on hold. It took me nearly 3 years from the date I actually decided that I was going to go to actually make it to Australia and in September 2012 I finally made that happen.

The road has not been easy. It has not only been a massive struggle to get here but at the moment, it seems its a massive struggle to stay.

Sometimes you need to know when you are fighting a loosing battle and right now I am not sure.

Is there a higher power trying to tell me that this is it? That its time to throw in the towel and stop fighting?

Or is the higher power throwing me these obstacles to test me, to see how much I really want it?

A few days before the crash happened I let it be known to my friend Luke that I would really like to stay here and was thinking about getting sponsored so I could live here. Then I had the crash and have pretty much lost all my money, and hope for that matter!

The easy option is to leave. To go home where my friends and family are, where my support system is and continue on with my life.

But I know that I won’t be happy if I do that. I haven’t finished travelling, I haven’t finished seeing Australia yet, I haven’t met all the people I am supposed to and I sure as hell haven’t had the experience I know I am meant to be having. I know in a few months I will really regret not sticking it out.

So for now I’m going to put in one last fight and see where it gets me. All I can do is enter each situation with an open heart, an open mind and allow life to unfold before me.

Trust that you are right where you are meant to be. That this moment is exactly how it should be.

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